Effect on children: how does domestic violence/abuse affect children and young people?

• Domestic Violence teaches children to use violence
• Violence can affect children in serious and long-lasting ways
• Where there is domestic violence there is child abuse
• Children will often blame themselves for domestic violence
• Alcohol misuse is very common when violence occurs in families
• Pregnant women are more vulnerable to domestic violence

How does this affect children?

Domestic Violence is a crime and a major social problem affecting many families. In 90% of reported domestic violence incidents, children have either been present in the same or a nearby room.

Children who witness, intervene or hear incidents are affected in many ways. What can be guaranteed is that children do hear, they do see and they are aware of violence in the family.

Children will learn how to behave from examples parents set for them. Domestic violence teaches children negative things about relationships and how to deal with people.

For instance: 

• It can teach that violence is an acceptable way to resolve conflict
• They learn how to keep secrets
• They learn to mistrust those close to them and that children are responsible and to blame for violence, especially if violence erupts after and argument about the children.

Many people find it difficult to understand why people remain in or return to violent situations. A combination of fear, love, the risk of homelessness and financial issues can make it very difficult for partners with children to leave and some may not want to.

Short term effects

Children are affected in many ways by violence, even after a short time. These effects include: Feeling frightened, becoming withdrawn, bedwetting, running away, aggressiveness, behavioural difficulties, problems with school, poor concentration and emotional turmoil.

Long term effects

The longer children are exposed to violence, the more severe the effects on them are.

These can include:

• A lack of respect for the non-violent parent
• Loss of self-confidence, which will affect their ability to form relationships in the future
• Being over-protective of parent
• Loss of childhood
• Problems at school
• Running away

If you are worried about domestic violence discuss it with someone else.

If you are violent and have children, you can seek help to stop what is happening.