Bullying: Talking to your child's school

Schools are determined to stamp out bullying and most have anti-bullying policies to help the school, children and parents work together. You may feel a bit nervous about going into your child’s school, especially if you had a bad experience at school yourself, so it’s important to trust the school when it says its policy is to stamp out bullying. Here’s some helpful advice on how to approach the school:

• Plan what you want to say and talk to your child about what is happening.
• If you feel nervous about going to the school, ask a family member or a friend to come with you.
• Start by making appointments to see the right people – begin with your child’s teacher. If you are not satisfied with the teacher’s response, move on to the year head, the deputy head, the headteacher and then the school governors.
• Before you talk to anyone at the school, count to 10 and take a deep breath – avoid doing anything in the heat of the moment.
• Focus on feelings rather than trying to prove who did what – if a child is upset, that has to be taken seriously.
• Ask for everyone involved to be partners in solving the problem.
• Ask what action will be taken and write down what is said.
• You may not get instant results. Take things one step at a time, and arrange to talk again in a few days’ time to check progress. Say you will ask your child for a progress report each day.
• Find out if there are people your child can talk to of the same age. As part of their anti-bullying programme, many schools run programmes where pupils support other pupils.

If you are not satisfied with the school’s response

What if your child continues to be bullied and you are unhappy about the lack of progress at the school? You may want to do more. Sometimes this will be a long and difficult process, but you and your child have rights too.

Follow these steps carefully until you feel that the situation is being dealt with:

• Check that the school has an anti-bullying policy and that procedures are being followed.
• Contact the headteacher and ask for a meeting to discuss what can be done.
• Write a letter of complaint to the school (maybe with a solicitor’s help).
• Write to the chair of school governors with a copy of the letter of complaint. Set out your concerns and what you would like to be done)
• Contact the director of education at your local authority.
• Lastly, complain to the Department for Education.